This Makes Sense

Alright - I've expressed my fears about how you can open you heart to another human being after having had the first experience of motherhood. One of my favorite blog writers even commented on the post, which was really nice...

Anyway - the point is that I found another descriptor (from Rebecca Woolf of This Girl's Gone Child and the author of Rockabye) that is helping me get to understand how it is...yes, Babygirl was my first entre into motherhood, and I'll always have a special place in my heart for her, but I think I get it - I'll also make room for this new baby and he or she will also hold a special (but different) place in my heart...

Here's the quote from the post:

"Clearly I am most excited about this pregnancy because of Archer. Because he was once kicking the same walls she is. And now, three and a half years later I have this perfect little person by my side, bouncing in my lap, rocking my world, loving me back, which can only mean that very soon, she will be too. And preparing to fall in love all over again?"

and you can read the whole thing here...

Fear

I am scared. Scared that this new baby who I have yet to meet will take time away from my first baby. Scared that I won't be able to love the new baby as much as I love my first baby. I am dealing with the second fear, but still feeling the first one strongly. I am so worried that my baby girl will be hyper aware of the time that the new baby takes her Momma away from her. I am afraid that she will feel less loved and that will translate into bad feelings in her head. I am scared of so many things.

I know that so many parents have done this before me, and many more will do it after me, and that everyone says that you just make room to love and you just make time for each of them, but, somehow I just don't understand how baby #2 can make you feel as much as baby #1, but I hope that all of these fears are unfounded...I guess we'll see.

This post says what I am trying to say so much better than I can...she really captured the feelings...this one too...