Maybe I'm Not Such a Bad Mom

I'll admit it - I was scared. Scared to have them both home alone at the same time. Yes, it's been almost 6 weeks, and I haven't been home alone with both girls for more than an hour or so.

But I was today. You see, my husband has this mistress - called hockey. He refs hockey from September through to May, and it takes him away from home for many many many hours...but you'll hear more about that another time. The point is that he was at hockey from 7am to 5pm today...

Last night I was anxious and scared. You see, Darling Daughter #1 has a tendency to grab and hit Baby Girl #2. I don't think she means anything by it - I think it is pretty normal stuff for an almost 2 year old who just had her life turned upside down when this new baby came to live in the room next to hers (well she doesn't quite live in that room yet, but you know what I mean). So, I'm not worried about her being a sociopath or anything like that - I understand that is normal, but the problem is that it is never ending. On Saturday - she grabbed her sister's face 5 times in a row - and by in a row I mean - she grabbed, we pulled her aside, sat with her explained why she couldn't grab and how it hurt, and went back to life. She went right back over to her sister and grabbed her again. Then did it 4 more times.

So, I was scared. Scared that while I was nursing Baby Girl #2, she would do something crazy. Scared that it would be a fight - her grabbing her her sister, me taking her aside, her sister crying and screaming, her crying...the scenario continues.

But it wasn't like that. It was actually really great to have them both home and together. We played, and walked, and hung out and it was good. #2, was doing good - had no problems, and #1 didn't try to grab her - not even once.

It was a good day - and it made me feel like maybe I'm not so bad at this parenting thing after all. Maybe...there's still tomorrow and the next 100 years to get through.

She's Here

We welcomed our new baby girl into the world at 1:17am on July 18, 2008.

Baby Girl #2 entered the world with a full head of pitch black hair and weighing in at 7lbs 5.8oz...

She's pretty amazing...although almost an exact opposite of her big sister that you would think they were from 2 different families. BG#2 has dark hair, BG #1 has light red hair...BG#2 weighed in at about 1lb more than BG#1 did when she was born...BG#2 cries...not incessantly, but more than BG#1 who everyone thought never cried...(wasn't true...but impressions count for a lot...) and there is more...but you get the point.

I am sorry to say that the delivery was almost exactly the same as with BG#1...I went from 5cm dilated when we got to the hospital (at 12:05am) to baby girl being born in oh - 1 hour and 12 minutes...which, if you've had a baby or witnessed a birth before you can imagine meant no epidural...just like with BG#1... The difference this time was that they actually attempted the epidural, but it failed, and from what they told me even if he had gotten it to hit "the spot", it wouldn't have mattered because it would have taken another 5-10 minutes to activate and baby girl was already in the world at that point...

Anyway - there was a lot of pain, A LOT of screaming (although less than last time - chalk it up to experience)...and a lot of JOY! We're in love w/ her already...which I was scared of...scared that I was too in love with BG #1 to love another in the same way...but the advice was right - it is instantaneous...

We are having some regression issues with Big Sis, but more on that later...